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Fic Battle Entry - FIRE AWAY



Authors:
apartment303, ayadec, bottecellie, brittaforthewin, butterbadger, _carly_, colonialburn, crittab, curlydots, firthgal, fluffyfrolicker, hematitebadger, htbthomas, krilymcc, lextersdab, malo_malo, ogwriter, palgrave_golden, piesek, rosepetal9, rowboatcop, supercapo, telm_393, virtual_toast


The first shot has been fired - the Fic Battle will now begin! Full rules and guidelines here (please note the sign-up addition and the last prompt deadline edit), but the quick version is here:

1) Author A replies to this entry with their writing preferences (from here) to start their thread. Minor changes are allowed to preferences, if needed.
2) Prompter 1 replies to Author A's thread with a prompt
3) Author A fills said prompt with at least 300 words of fic and posts it in a reply to Prompter 1's comment.
4) Author A moves on to Prompter 2.
5) Prompter 1 may now give Author A another prompt if they so choose, continuing on until prompts close on Thursday, June 21st at 10am EST (7am PST).
6) Authors have until Thursday, June 21st at 12pm EST (9am PST) to post their fills.

The author with the MOST fills will be the Winner! Any author who fills EVERY prompt they receive will be a Survivor!

A few additional notes:
** The length of the battle is for two reasons: A) varying free time for writing (a work-a-day writer or a weekender), and B) varying writing speeds (a tortoise or a hare).
** As the battle goes on, try to spread your prompts among the authors. If you see an author who has completed all their prompts and there's plenty of time to the end of the battle, help them out!
** No ideas for prompts? Use resources like unfilled prompts at various comment fic memes and fests (even other fandoms which could be adapted), or random story idea generators.
** Anonymous comments are screened for the duration of the battle. Please prompt logged in.

Questions? See the first comment thread below.

GOOD LUCK, ALL!

CEASE FIRE! The battle is now over! No fills posted past 12:00pm EST will count toward the final totals. Masterpost with winners, survivors and breakdown will go up by tomorrow at noon.



Authors may continue to fill their prompts, just for fun, if they wish! And prompters, please continue to feedback. :)

Comments

piesek
Jun. 15th, 2012 04:05 pm (UTC)
Maximum rating I will write (G - NC-17): NC-17
I WILL write any of these genres (underline all that apply): angst, fluff, AU, crossovers, smut, humor, shippy!fic, gen/friendship!fic
My preferred characters/ships are: Troy/Abed is my absolute favorite pairing. Troy, Abed, and Annie, probably, as far as characters go, but I love them all.
I will NOT write these topics/characters/ships: recreational drug use, rape/molestation, certain kinks (scat, emetophilia, vore, guro), anything that is meant to put down certain fan views/imply that other people are watching the show "wrong", any serious character bashing (though mockery of the sort seen on the show is fine, I just don't want anything like "Britta dies, everyone parties" or whatnot), infidelity plots. I'm not going to say no to any pairings, but as for ones that would probably not work easily for me: Shirley/not Andre, Pierce/study group member, Annie/Abed. Also note that I tend to prefer male/male pairings, and therefore at least have experience writing smut for them, and much less for male/female and female/female pairings. That doesn't mean I won't write them by any means, it just means the result may be a bit rough. I also don't write any popular cross-fandom AU universes, like the D/s universe or omegaverse, or wingfic in general.
I WILL write crossovers in any of these fandoms: Buffy, Doctor Who (New Who only, though; sorry, I lack proper knowledge on the original eight Doctors), Homestuck, True Blood, Glee (yes, really), Avengers movieverse, Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra, Adventure Time, Mary Shelley's Frankenhole, Harry Potter, Star Trek (original series or reboot), The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, any Grimm brothers fairy tale, Firefly; please note that the bashing thing still applies as above, and I won't write a crossover if it's just about how you hate the other fandom/show/movie/whatever.
eleventhimpala
Jun. 15th, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC)
Abed's series of documentaries about the study group has become a cult hit on the Internet, and the group gets a kick out of reading fan fiction inspired by them. Things get awkward when they come across a badly-written Jeff/Annie fic that portrays Britta as a vindictive, evil shrew.

Noticing how much this bothers her, the group tries to make Britta feel better. (Some Britta/Troy, but mostly Britta/Study Group, please!)
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
Fanon and the Transformative Arts | 1,826 words
eleventhimpala: Abed's series of documentaries about the study group has become a cult hit on the Internet, and the group gets a kick out of reading fan fiction inspired by them. Things get awkward when they come across a badly-written Jeff/Annie fic that portrays Britta as a vindictive, evil shrew.

Noticing how much this bothers her, the group tries to make Britta feel better. (Some Britta/Troy, but mostly Britta/Study Group, please!)"


It was never hard to tell when Annie was keeping a secret that made her feel guilty. Whether it was the nervous eye darting, the lip biting, the compulsive hair-twirling, or the constant click-click-clickclickclick of her pen, something always gave her away. Of course, if called out on it she'd only deny her behaviors and become eerily quiet, so Jeff and the rest of the study group knew better than to say anything. It would inevitably find its way out of her, anyway.

Still, the pen-clicking could drive a person mad. It took all Jeff had in him to keep from grabbing the thing from her hand and flinging it across the room, which could only result in more trouble and potentially even a repeat of the Puppy Parade Incident. He counted to ten, forwards and backwards, and missed the bulk of Troy's description of a girl who'd been hitting on him. He was starting on another ten when the clicking stopped suddenly.

"You mean Margot?" Annie asked suddenly, as though startled.

"Yeah, I think that's her name." Troy frowned. "But I thought it was pronounced 'Marge-got.' "

The pen-clicking resumed as double speed, and everyone turned to look at Annie.

Troy leaned forward, arms on the table. "Annie, do you know something about Margot?"

Britta mimicked his position, her face pleading. "Yeah, anything Troy might want to know that might completely change the way he looks at her? Like maybe she hates Inspector Spacetime?"

Besides her, Abed gasped.

Annie shook her head, still clicking her pen frantically. "Nope, I don't know anything. It's not like she does anything that makes her come off as sort of a stalker. I mean, maybe she does, but I wouldn't know, because I'm not involved in anything weird like that. I don't even have any free time to get involved with that stuff!"

Shirley put a hand on her arm. "Annie, you're starting to worry me."

"And you're being unnecessarily expository," Abed added.

"It's nothing, forget I said anything." Clickclickclick

"...nine, ten!" With no more warning than that, Jeff snatched the pen from her fingers, flinging it across the room. Silence reigned blissfully for a full three seconds while Annie's lip quivered dangerously.

"She writes Mary Sues!" she squeaked, her voice breaking. "And I've been reading fanfiction about us!"

"Mary Sues? Fanfiction? Have you gotten yourself into some kind of cult?" Shirley asked, her grip tightening on Annie's arm.

Abed butt in quickly. "No, just derivative prose written about some form of entertainment. I tried writing some about Inspector Spacetime, but it wasn't well received."

Troy sat back, crossing his arms. "I don't care what spaceprincess43 says. The Reggie Trilogy was artful."

After their congratulatory hand shake-high five, Abed turned back to Annie. "I'm not really sure how there could be fanfiction about our study group, though."

Annie sniffled slightly, and Jeff thought it said a lot about her distress that she had yet to say anything about her pen. "Some people online have gotten really into your documentaries about us. There are websites with forums, art, fan videos — they watch us like we're The Real Housewives of Greendale or something."
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 03:51 am (UTC)
(2/3)
"Is that a show?" Pierce asked. "I only ask because I think I could make a great character on one of those. I could be the smart-talking gay friend, only straight. It'd be revolutionary!"

Jeff snorted. "I might actually watch that. No, wait, I try not to watch things that are depressing and racist." He paused, considering the implications of being a popular character, even if only on some shady corner of the internet. "Do they write about me?"

"Some of them," Annie admitted. "A lot of people are overly concerned with out romantic relationships, and sometimes write about themselves with us. It's creepy, and Troy, Margot doesn't even know how to spell 'congratulate,' so don't bother with her."

Shirley took her hand back, looking down at the table. "I don't know that I'm comfortable with them writing about me romantically. Andre hasn't even been in any of Abed's movies. They at least keep it clean, though, right?"

"Shirley, it's the internet. 'Clean' as a concept went out when people started using it for porn, which was immediately," Jeff said. "The real question is, how bad does it get?"

Annie blushed. "Most of it is just cute, or sometimes weirdly sad. But, yes, some of it does get... somewhat erotic."

And that was how the study group wound up spending their next three meetings together reading fanfiction about themselves out loud from Abed's laptop.

-

"'...and when the rest weren't looking, LeVar bent down and placed a kiss gently on Troy's lips. Neither of them could stop smiling for the rest of the day.'" Annie made a face. "That didn't go where I thought it was going."

Across the table, Troy stared blankly ahead. "I have no idea how to feel right now. This is like when you see a hot girl with a really wet t-shirt and then realize it's your cousin."

Annie passed the laptop to Jeff. "I don't really get why so many people seem to think LeVar Burton spends all his free time with us now. Try to find something that doesn't involve him."

Jeff scrolled down the page, an archive listing hundreds of stories of all sorts. "Pascal's Triangle of Love by hipsterLeroy. That sounds horrifying, and the summary is blissfully Burton-free. 'Jeffrey Winger is being pulled in two directions. Can he figure out the path to love before it's too late?' Well, I'm sold."

Britta groaned. "Why do you always have to pick the stories about you?"

"I just pick the most interesting ones, Britta. But look, you're in this one, too: 'Although he had formed the study group in the hopes of getting into her pants, Jeffrey Winger had come to realize that Britta Perry was much more of a downer than he had initially realized.' True. 'More concerned with the politics of other countries and finding things to be belligerently defensive about than touching his hot bod, she had become'..." Jeff stopped, scanning ahead a few lines before closing the laptop unceremoniously. "You know what? We should probably study, we're pretty far behind."

"No, I made sure we were caught up already," Annie said, though she was already worriedly checking her notes.

Britta grabbed the laptop, opening it up again. "Come on, I want to know how I break your heart. Let's see... 'More concerned with the politics of other countries and finding things to be belligerently defensive about than touching his hot bod—' They say that like it's a bad thing. '—she had become the laughing stock of the school. Even Troy could see how she hid behind feminism and political correctness when it suited her, and exploited it to harm others when it amused her. Yes, Jeff could definitely see trying to lay her had been a mistake, and knew that if he could only dislodge her clawed, harpy talons from his heart, he could be with his true love...' Uh. I guess I don't break your heart in this one."

Things grew uncomfortably silent. Abed slid the laptop over, reading quickly through the next few paragraphs. "Nope. It looks like it's mostly just about Leonard making Annie over so that he can save Jeff from you. If it's any consolation, though, the writing is terrible. There are perspective and tense changes all over the place."
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 03:51 am (UTC)
(3/3)
"That's very comforting, Abed." Britta stood, picking up her things. "You know, I think I left one of my harpy claws in my cardboard feminism. I should go grab it, just in case I come across anyone whose pain amuses me."

"Come on, Britta, you know we don't think any of that about you," Annie said, giving her friend a hopeful half-smile. "You're our friend. We wouldn't stick around if we thought you were a boring, malicious faux-minist."

"Nice complipun, but we all know which one of us everybody thinks is a buzzkill, and astonishingly enough it's not Pierce."

"Hey! I could kill a buzzard with my bare hands."

"Not the point. The point is that obviously these people writing this fanfiction see something in me that is just awful. It must come from somewhere, right? So maybe they're right. Maybe I am terrible. Maybe I am the AT&T of people, and I'm even worse than girls who write erotic Mary Sues about guys they see in documentaries!"

She turned to leave, but before she could make it to the door, Jeff was in her way, joined quickly by Annie. She whirled to face the other door, only to find the rest of the group blocking her there, too, Troy at the front.

"I'm sorry I ever called you the AT&T of people," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Nobody deserves that, but especially not somebody who cares about anything. And I know you care a lot, and for real."

Britta relaxed slightly. "That means a lot to me, Troy, but it doesn't change the fact that I come off as a shrieking, scheming shrew to everybody else."

Annie butt in, coming around her side to face her. "Britta, most of those stories portrayed me as interested in nothing but getting whatever guy they think I should love. And then there are the ones that make it seem like I'm some kind of compulsive airhead whose parents coddle her. Is that what you think of me?"

"No, Annie, of course not."

"Then they can't have the greatest idea of who we are, can they?"

"Yeah, they seem to think I'm some kind of crazy, racist old man." Pierce shook his head. "They couldn't be more off."

"It doesn't matter what they think anyway," Shirley added. "They don't know you, and they don't care about you like we do. The only opinions that you should care about are those of your friends." She coughed, turning away slightly. "And maybe God."

Britta chose to ignore that, smiling shyly at Troy. "So I'm not the opposite of Batman?"

Troy smiled back. "Not unless the opposite of Batman is Superman. Or Wonder Woman, since, you know... boobs."

"Thank you, Troy."

"Now come on and hug me already. My arms are starting to hurt."

She did, and a moment later the rest of them moved in to wrap their arms around her as well. They stayed like that for a moment, until they heard a whistle just outside the door.

"Get a room, already!"

Jeff half-turned away to reply, "Shut up, Leonard! We know about your fanfiction!"

As he walked away, they could hear Leonard shout, "I'm a BNF!"
eleventhimpala
Jun. 21st, 2012 03:19 pm (UTC)
Re: (3/3)
Love it!
htbthomas
Jun. 21st, 2012 09:37 pm (UTC)
Re: (3/3)
ROFL! That was hilarious and adorable.
fluffyfrolicker
Jun. 15th, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC)
Troy, Abed, Annie.

There's a flood in their apartment.
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 04:32 am (UTC)
(1/2)
Beginner's Emergency Response | 886 words
fluffyfrolicker: Troy, Abed, Annie.

There's a flood in their apartment.


If it had been anybody else's apartment, Troy may have suspected something before he opened the door. Before he got there, he could hear shrieking, and something that sounded like metal hitting metal, as well as the commentary track running from Thor. None of that phased him; sessions inside the Dreamatorium could get pretty intense, and Abed had been rewatching the commentary from every recent Marvel superhero film during the past week.

If he had stopped to think, he might have realized that Abed would never leave a movie running with commentary for the Dreamatorium, and that Annie wouldn't be in there on her own. In fact, she probably would have been commenting on the commentary, if everything had been okay.

When he opened the door, he realized that everything was far from okay.

Water immediately flooded out over his feet, and he spared a moment to be thankful that the zombie-proofing measures he and Abed had taken had been at least moderately effective; the insulation meant to keep out anything infected had successfully kept the water from leaking out beneath the door. It had also, of course, helped the water levels rise to what must have been ankle-height, and he quickly jumped in and slammed the door shut, hoping their neighbors knew them well enough to not ask about the large wet spot outside their door.

"What is going on?!" he asked, and rushed to the kitchen, where he found his roommates. Annie was on her knees by the sink, a wrench in one hand and an L-pipe in the other, trying to apparently beat it back into its place as water poured out from where it had been connected. Abed was standing a few feet away, clad in only swim trunks and carrying a cardboard cut-out of Inspector Spacetime under his arm.

Upon hearing him, Annie turned, holding the pipe in place and reaching out to him with the wrench. "We had a leak, and it just wouldn't stop! I only tried to tighten it — that's what the instructions online said — and then it all fell apart!"

Troy stepped forward, taking the wrench and crouching to look at the problem. He paused, though, looking at Abed, who shrugged.

"I didn't think I'd get a better chance to do a surfer movie. In retrospect, it was a bad choice; I could have done Jaws instead."

"And the Inspector?"

"Closest thing we had to a surfboard in the apartment."

Troy nodded, then flipped the L-pipe back into its proper position, quickly securing it. The gushing water stopped, but they were still left in several inches of water.

"What are we going to do?" Annie moaned, looking all around them. "I put everything up higher, and Abed made sure all the cords and wires were above the water level, but this has got to be dripping down onto the next floor!"

"And you've got Thor still running," Troy pointed out.

"Not a problem," Abed said. "I've been absorbing it aurally."

"That sounds unhealthy."

"You guys!" Annie stomped her foot, the effect dulled by the splash of water. "We have to think of something fast! Do you have any buckets, or towels?"

"Not really."

"This is why you need a linen closet!"

Abed snapped his fingers. "Waterworld. I should have done Waterworld."
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 04:32 am (UTC)
(2/2)
Troy nodded, then thought of something. "Blankets are sort of like big, comfy towels, right? We could take down our fort — just for tonight, Abed — and use them to soak up the water!"

Annie looked less than impressed. "We're going to need more than a few blankets for this, Troy. We need a way to get the water into the sink, or the bathtub, before we can start drying things."

Abed pointed to their fort, where most of his and Troy's possessions were piled onto the beds. "I have a collection of superhero and costume helmets. We could use those as buckets."

Annie approved, and they swiftly set about pouring as much water down any available drain as possible. It was hours before they relaxed, Annie setting the sopping wet blankets out on the balcony to dry.

"You know," she began, coming back into the apartment, "if we had an ironing board, it could work as a better surfboard than cardboard, and I could show you guys how to iron. If you wanted, I mean. No pressure or anything."

Troy and Abed looked at each other, seated on their chairs, then back at her. "Sure," Troy said. "We should do that."

Annie smiled. "And maybe you could show me how to fix a leak, if we need to again?"

Troy nodded, and Annie happily settled in beside them, watching the Captain America commentary in silence for a few minutes.

"You know," she said eventually, and grinned a little at how they tensed, expecting more talk of chores and adult tasks. "You know, we don't really need water if you want to reenact Jaws."

A few minutes after, a neighbor passing by could hear shouting, crashing, and an ominous watery sound from inside apartment 303. If it had been any other apartment, he would have called the police, or at least knocked on the door — but as it was, he merely sighed, decided to sleep with ear plugs that night, and moved on.
cherrycoloured
Jun. 15th, 2012 04:48 pm (UTC)
Troy/Abed, just something about them kissing.
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 06:05 am (UTC)
(1/1)
Oral History | 672 words
cherrycoloured: Troy/Abed, just something about them kissing.

Troy had no idea how it had happened. One moment he'd been eating spaghetti by himself, and the next he was being kissed for all he was worth.

Sure, there had been some stuff in between. He couldn't remember it all that well, his brain gone foggy with confusion, but Abed had come in, said something about Disney and cocker spaniels, and then — this. Warm lips on his, one hand cupping his jaw, and the knowledge that Abed was shockingly good at kissing. Better than him, even. He didn't seem to be doing anything special, but Troy felt like a light had been turned on inside him, and he couldn't make himself react like he ought to. He was sure, in some part of himself, that he should be moving away, explaining to Abed that best friends aren't supposed to kiss even if they are really close, that he wasn't really into guys, that he was eating spaghetti and he was pretty sure his breath reeked of garlic.

But he didn't. He couldn't bring himself to; whether it was the confusion or the fact that it just felt good, stopping Abed didn't really seem like a good idea. And yet neither did sitting there, like some kind of creepy doll or dead fish. His only recourse was to respond.

Tentatively, afraid to ruin the atmosphere Abed had somehow set, he parted his lips, reaching out to put his hands on his friend's sides. When that seemed to change nothing, he relaxed slightly, tilting his head into a more comfortable position.

His world descended into confusion again, and by the time he could make sense of things again, he realized he was pressed against Abed from chest to knee, his body holding Abed's against the kitchen wall. His friend's tongue was in his mouth — his best friend's tongue — and his hands were on his back, slowly slipping down. The noise he made when long, careful fingers reached his backside would have embarrassed him if it were anyone else he was kissing, but with Abed, he could only focus on the pleasure of being touched, the sensation making him press forward, rising off his heels slightly.

Without warning, Abed pulled, spinning him around, and then they were on the ground. The impact and the sudden rush of air out of his lungs pretty solidly ruined the moment for Troy, who pushed Abed away by the shoulders and let his head fall back, breathing heavily.

"Abed, what the hell was that?" he asked, voice even.

"It was supposed to be the Lady and the Tramp," Abed explained, pushing himself up into a standing position. He held out a hand for Troy to grab, hauling him up beside him. "It started out well, but then you did the romantic comedy head tilt, and I had to take it to its logical conclusion. I guess the wall kiss is going to take some practice, though."

"Uh-huh. And why, exactly, did you decide to do this with me, and not, say, Annie?" Not that he was upset, exactly. He couldn't pretend at being bothered by a kiss he'd so obviously enjoyed.

"Annie wouldn't have let me do it. I figured you and I are more comfortable with each other, and you wouldn't mind."

"Right." Troy took a deep breath, almost afraid to say what he was thinking. "Abed, you can't just kiss anybody like that. I know, it doesn't make sense, it works all the time in movies, but people in the real world are messed up and it usually just goes wrong."

Abed stared at him for a moment, considering. "Is this weird because we're friends, or because we're both guys?"

"It's not... weird, exactly. Okay, yeah, it is weird, but it's... good weird?"

"So you're saying you'd be okay with trying again?"

Troy only had to think for a moment before he knew his answer. "Yeah, man. We're going to need some practice if we want to get that wall kiss right."
cherrycoloured
Jun. 21st, 2012 06:15 am (UTC)
Re: (1/1)
This is cute! I love their awkwardness. Thank you for writing this! :3
crittab
Jun. 15th, 2012 07:07 pm (UTC)
Troy and Annie hang out in the Dreamtorium without Abed. Friendship fic rated G-PG-13
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 07:02 am (UTC)
(1/2)
Cardio Fitness and Endurance Training | 1,069 words
crittab: Troy and Annie hang out in the Dreamtorium without Abed. Friendship fic rated G-PG-13

"This feels wrong," Troy said, pulling at the sleeves of his white robe. "Abed's always the Inspector. I don't want him feeling like he's been replaced."

Annie rolled her eyes, but gave him a reassuring smile all the same. "I asked him if we could use his robe while he was gone, and he even gave me tips on how to dress up like the Inspector. I think he knows it's all right. Besides, I have been dying to wear this again." She smoothed down the front of her outfit, already seeing it as the dress the Inspector's lesser-known partner wore.

"I guess I just feel more like a Reggie. Not that I don't love the Inspector and all. He's a great man. But I've been Reggie for so long..."

Annie patted his shoulder reassuringly. "You'll make a great Inspector. Maybe a different one from Abed's, but a great one all the same."

Troy straightened up, grinning. "You think so?"

"Of course! All you need to be a good Inspector is a big heart, and yours is huge."

"Can I get you to say that in public? There are some people I know who'd... never mind. Let's do this!"

Happiness rushed through Annie as the Dreamatorium seemed to fall away around them, replaced by the futuristic interior of the Inspector's transport. She didn't get as many chances to participate in their play as she'd have liked, which was why she had insisted on getting Troy to join her while Abed was visiting family. She turned to the control panel, her fingers flying over buttons like they weren't even there.

Which they weren't, but that was besides the point.

"Where to next, Inspector?" she said, affecting her fake British accent with more ease. She'd been practicing.

"I think you mean why to," Troy answered, and then frowned. "I mean when to. Damn."

Annie didn't falter. "Then when shall we be off to? Some alien planet in the future? A significant part of Earth's history? Or we could visit an alien future that bears a resemblance to a part of Earth's history! What do you say?"

"I've always wanted to meet Joan of Ark. So perhaps it's not when, but who... or how. I think you know these controls better than I do."

"Next stop, Joan of Arc!" Annie announced, impressed by his choice. With a few taps on the controls and a very theatric pull of a lever, the BOOTH wooshed through time and space. As it settled, she looked out the front window, and frowned when she saw nothing but water. "This isn't right."

"But it is," Troy said, throwing open the door and stepping out. "She's Joan of Ark. Of course she lived on a boat."

Annie barely restrained herself from correcting him, pressing her lips shut and following him out the door. She had mastered the art of walking without moving anywhere, not interested in running into a wall again.

"Something's wrong," Troy said as she reached his side. "The ship is completely empty."

"That's strange," Annie conceded. "Do you think they're all below deck?"

"If by 'below deck' you mean dead... then no. But something odd is happening here."

They both looked around a moment. Nothing was happening. Annie could nearly feel herself getting ill from the swaying of the ship on the water, and knew she had to do something before she actually managed to get imaginary seasick. "Look!" she shouted, pointing. "It's Blorgons! Of course!"

"Those alien bastards," Troy muttered, then turned around and ran. In place, but it was effective on the ship nonetheless.

Annie joined him. "Inspector, what are you doing? We need to stop them!"

"Constable Reggie always runs. It seems like the smart thing to do! Blorgons are dangerous!"

"But you aren't the Constable, you're the Inspector! It's your job to save everyone!"
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 07:02 am (UTC)
(2/2)
Troy stopped, breathing heavily and putting his hands on his knees. "I don't know how. I'm a different kind of Inspector. Maybe I'm not a good kind."

"That's not true! You can... use your laser hammer, or something!" When that got no response, Annie jumped up, throwing her arms in the air. "Oh no, Inspector! I've been captured by the Blorgons!"

Troy looked vexed. "What do I do? I can't think! I'm no good at this!"

"Yes you are, Inspector!" She struggled against her restraints, hoping to spur him into action. "Hurry! If you don't save me soon, they're going to eliminate me!"

Troy reached into his robe, pulling out the laser hammer. He aimed it, but couldn't seem to get it to shoot; in a fit of frustration, he threw it, hitting a Blorgon squarely in its power panel and causing it to retreat.

"See! You can save me, you just have to try!" Annie said, continuing her struggling.

Troy jumped around nervously. "That was a fluke! I don't have another hammer!"

In a last-ditch effort, Annie pulled out the big guns and screamed, doing her best imitation of someone being brutally eliminated by Blorgons.

It worked, with Troy whipping around and punching the nearest Blorgon in it's face-plate. Annie stopped screaming, struggling free and joining him in punching the Blorgons into submission. She left the last one for him, but as he pulled back his arm to give it one final blow, he stopped.

"What are you doing, Inspector? Finish it!" she urged, kicking away the remains of another Blorgon. They did take up a lot of room once incapacitated.

"No," he said, and lowered his fist. "The Inspector doesn't just solve all his problems with his awesomely powerful fists. He's not that guy. I'm not that guy."

He patted the Blorgon like it was a wayward pet, then turned it, urging it on its way.

"Go. Tell your Blorgon friends that there's a new Inspector around, and that he won't stand for anybody messing with time. And that he's going to punch fewer things, in the future. Or past."

The Blorgon fled as speedily as they could, and Annie joined Troy in watch it go. "You did well, Inspector. I told you all you needed was heart."

Troy grinned at her, and said, "Let's go find Joan. I want to know how many animals are on this boat."
ayadec
Jun. 15th, 2012 08:59 pm (UTC)
Just because I'm curious, A Little Mermaid/Community crossover. You can take that any way you would like.
piesek
Jun. 21st, 2012 08:07 am (UTC)
(1/1)
Marine Economics | 530 words
ayadec: Just because I'm curious, A Little Mermaid/Community crossover. You can take that any way you would like.

"So let me get this straight," Jeff said, regarding the creature before him with cautious hope. "If I sign a contract with you, I can become a lawyer again, just like that? No degree needed, no bar exam to pass legitimately, nothing?"

The creature's face split into an enormous, toothy grin. "Precisely, my dear boy. Of course, there is a price to pay for this opportunity — a finder's fee, if you will."

"I'd expect no less," he said, pulling out his wallet. "Do you take Visa? Because if I need cash, I'll have to get to an ATM."

She held up a hand to stop him. "I don't want or need your money. I'm looking for something a bit more... unique."

Jeff narrowed his eyes. "If this is a sex thing, I'm going to have to get back to you."

She curled her lip in disgust. "With you? I'm afraid not."

"Good. I mean, hey— what's wrong with me?"

She waved her hand, indicating the whole of him. "You're pale and dry. Plus, those legs? Ugh!"

"So wait. Do mermaids not have sex? Because if that's the deal, it's a definite no."

"Oh, they do. I couldn't tell you exactly how, but there is sex." She sidled closer, her tentacles probing at his shoes. "Would you like to hear my price?"

Jeff considered a moment, but he knew he couldn't resist. "All right. Hit me."

"I only ask for your voice," she said sweetly, putting on a smile as wide as it was fake.

"Deal," he replied instantly. "Where do I sign?"

The creature looked taken aback. "Don't you want to think about it for a moment? You can't break my contract once you've signed it, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm not really that concerned. Will normal pens work, or do I need one of those space pens that can write upside-down? I think my friend has one—"

"You're that willing to part with your voice? And your entire life, even these friends you keep talking about? You can live that lonely, difficult life?"

Jeff shrugged. "I have a cell phone. Even if I can't call, I can text them, and write out all my speeches that way."

The creature laughed heartily, her massive bosom heaving as she did. "And how do you think a cell phone will work under water?"

Jeff, for the first time, faltered. He considered it: a life where he could be a fish-man lawyer whose only competition would be particularly articulate lobsters, or a life without his cell phone.

There was no contest. He turned away, pulling his cell phone from his pocket to reassure himself that it was still there.

"Forget it. You can find another chump to be your fish-lawyer."

"Wait!" Ursula called, banging on the glass of her tank. "I still need to get out of here! I can give you— he's not coming back."

She curled her tentacles up around her arms and shoulders, sulking. She didn't even have her eels to keep her company. Then she saw him— a man with a lizard, a top hat, and star-shaped sideburns. Yes, that was a man looking for a new life. Jackpot!
htbthomas
Jun. 16th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC)
Troy/Abed and Star Trek - role-playing or a fusion where they are two of the characters.
virtual_toast
Jun. 17th, 2012 04:52 pm (UTC)
Community/Avengers crossover. Anything with Loki being deliciously evil.
rosepetal9
Jun. 17th, 2012 08:11 pm (UTC)
"A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought." - Dorothy L. Sayers

Take it and run with it, however you please.
_carly_
Jun. 19th, 2012 02:54 pm (UTC)
Friendship Fic: Troy, Abed and Annie can't decide which famous trio to dress up as for Halloween.
cherrycoloured
Jun. 21st, 2012 06:18 am (UTC)
Troy/Abed- Troy is nervous about coming out to his parents, so Abed attempts to help him.

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